Goodbye, My Love

Pregnant 6 Weeks I stared down at the ultrasound report, feeling the way that my blood was cooling down by the second. To state that I was in disbelief, would be a complete and utter understatement. Of all the times that this could have happened, it had to happen now, when I stood on the brink of a divorce? I didn’t feel like the fates had played me fairly. What was I supposed to do now? Panic was slowly starting to set into my bones as I found myself asking a very important, very valid question: Would Austin still be willing to divorce me once he learned of it? I didn’t even have to think for a significant amount of time before concluding that he would not be willing to divorce me. He would be more than willing to accept his shameless assumptions and believe that I would have done this deliberately in order to use the baby as a way to get to him, to blackmail him into staying with me.   Realizing that I was allowing myself to get caught up in my thoughts, I stuffed the report into my bag, uncaring about the damage that would occur to it from handling it in that manner. It didn’t matter what state the paper was in, it wouldn’t change the facts stated on it, or the truth. As I made my way through the hospital, everything started to fade into nothingness. The cream tiles on the floor all merged into one, the bright lights shining down at me from the ceilings even dimming. I was taking deep breaths, doing my very best to remain calm about the entire situation. I couldn’t do something that would betray what was happening before I knew what I was going to do. When I finally stepped out of the hospital, my eyes immediately landed on the black Maybach that had been waiting for me the entire time that I had been inside. The back passenger windows were half-open, and judging by the cold breeze in the air, I could only begin to imagine what the inside of the car was going to feel like. And even from this distance, through the tint on the windows, I could make out the outline of the man sitting at the passenger seat—and I could feel him staring at me as I made my way to the vehicle. I could tell that the car—and the man driving it—was doing quite a number on the eyes of the passers-by, many of them slowing down and craning their necks in order to look at the attractive man. The flashy car, and chiseled face of a god, belonged to none other than Austin Payne. Luckily, he didn’t have the same effect on me as he did on everyone else. Why? Because I had known this man for years. I had grown so accustomed to all of this that it felt like second nature to me. And even though it wasn’t easy to ignore the eyes of those watching us, I still got into the passenger seat of the car as if I belonged there—because for now, I did. Austin Payne sat in the drivers’ seat, with his glasses on, providing him the perfect form of protection. It meant that he wouldn’t even have to look at me when he spoke to me, and even if he did, it would be very unlikely that he would even retain eye contact with me. “That went faster than I expected it to.” The only thing that I did in response to his statement, was nod my head. I still felt like I didn’t have enough grounding to speak, knowing that the shock of the information that I had just received, would be obvious. And I didn’t want him to question me on it, because I didn’t even know if I would have it in me to lie to him. But luckily, I had the perfect excuse for being here. I handed him the contract that we had just signed with the hospital—the contract that had encouraged me to do my tests here in the first place. Our initial plan had been for me to come here on my own, especially since this case had already been delegated to me. But, as I had already pointed out, fate had a cruel plan for me today, which must have been why I had run into Austin on my way out. And him being the man that he was, he offered to drop me off on his way here. I watched as the corners of his mouth turned upwards as he skimmed through the signed contract and I could tell that he was pleased with it. “I’m glad that they signed. We made a good decision to put you in charge of this case.” Despite the fact that he was speaking to me, he hadn’t done so much as spare me a glace, once, during the entire conversation. It felt like a chain was being wrapped around my heart, and every so often, someone would give it a vicious yank to inflict immeasurable pain onto me—he was the someone who yanked on it. But of course, I was the only one feeling the way that I was, because he started the car as if it was all that there was to it. Once the car started moving, neither of us spoke again. And the inevitable happened—my thoughts started to drift in the direction of the report that I was still hiding in my bag. I didn’t think that I was going to talk to him about it just yet, because I didn’t know how he felt about it. And besides, he seemed to be so focused on driving that he wouldn’t have heard anything that I said to him in the first place. His gaze was glued to the path ahead of him, his eyes obscured by the glasses that he wore. “Austin…” I wiped my palms on my thighs, the rough material of my jeans feeling somewhat more comforting than the nails that had been digging into my palms. “Hmm?” He was so disinterested in what I had to say that he wasn’t even showing interest in speaking to me. He didn’t even answer me properly. But I didn’t know why I was surprised that this was happening. It had always happened, and the fact that it was happening now, was even more disappointing than all of the times before. I knew that he wasn’t aware of the situation and the developments, but that didn’t give him a right to not care. I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to pretend that I wasn’t about to say one of the riskiest things that I had ever said in my life. What happened to waiting? What happened to wanting to keep this from him until I had been able to think this through? “I… I’m…” Pregnant. Come on! Just say it, already! But before I could muster up the courage to actually get the full sentence out, the shrill sound of his phone ringing cut through the air, forcing my words right back down my throat, before they had even had the chance to come out properly. “Simone? Is there something the matter?” And just like that, his entire demeanor changed—and I didn’t need to question why. It was because he was talking to her. His mistress. The tenderness that he displayed when he spoke to her, was something that I had always envied—and I didn’t think that it would change any time soon. I hadn’t ever been treated as kindly by him in the past, so why would it happen now? Austin Payne would only ever reserve his love for Simone Sinclair. Despite the fact that I would have killed to hear what she was saying to him, I wasn’t able to hear a word. But I knew that it wasn’t anything good, because he slammed harshly on the brakes, practically sending me flying through the window. If it wasn’t for the seatbelt that held me in place, I would have most likely ended up getting hurt. “Wait for me. I’ll be right there.” Even though he might have come across as blunt to her, it was more than he ever said to me, that wasn’t work related. When he hung up the phone, he turned to look at me, for the very first time since I had come out of the hospital. “Get out!” His instruction left me acknowledging the fact that there was no room for negotiation. I was going to get out of this car willingly, or he was going to force me out of it. Not wanting to cause any conflict, I nodded my head—even though it wasn’t actually necessary for me to do so—and I got out of the car. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that was only getting worse as the time passed. This marriage between Austin and I had been a mistake since the very beginning, and the love that we had lacked when agreeing to go into it, was something that hadn’t come to grow as the time passed. The only person who Austin Payne loved, was Simone, and I was nothing more than a trophy wife who let him do what he wanted to. Two years ago, Austin’s grandfather had a myocardial infraction, and while he had been laying on his death bed, he had asked Austin to marry me, due to the strong bond that our families shared. Austin had been reluctant—and so had I—but for the sake of a dying old man, and a better future, I agreed when Austin got past his reservations. But despite that, he had never shown me the kind of attention that he gave Simone. He even made me feel like he resented me for marrying him, like I was the one who should have put an end to this before it had even happened. Luckily for my sake, Austin had dropped me in the busy main street, which meant that I would be safe from harm. I would need to book an Uber if I planned on getting home any time soon, and even though it was a task and a half, I finally managed to do it, and in no time, I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of one. It wasn’t an easy situation to be in, but thankfully, the driver did not question or comment on what was going on. When I got home, I couldn’t help but frown, stepping out of the Uber and starting to make my way further into my yard without saying anything to the driver. There were no signs of life around the house, which wasn’t what was bothering me. The thing that had warning lights going off in my mind and questions shooting through my head, was the fact that that I could hear the hum of a cra engine from the garage. But Austin couldn’t have been back… He never came back this soon whenever he went to Simone…