THE GAY BARTENDER

Before the world he lies, He who stands tall for all to see , He who speaks with a stark,confidence voice, He who is loved,praised, He whose very existence is a falsehood, A falsehood that goes unquestioned, As he walks in his clothes , They walk in his body; He who is invincible to all but himself , He who stands with his shoulders too broad, H e who speaks through his voice too deep, His words a mask to hide his face , He whose truth goes unnoticed, His existence unknown to the world, His life obscured behind his. They try to escape ,but he cannot, Burdened by his shell His loved,accepted shell, She is pushed back, She hides in the dark and none shall go looking for him. Let them be free, Let the husk of him fade Let the world see him, Let him stand not quite so tall, Let him speak with a bright ,clear voice, Let him be loved,praised, Let his existence be the unmistakable truth . For they are the same , They are one, He is one,. Thank You. A still atmosphere followed as the ambiance changed...He was a treat for sore eyes,Everyone in the bar stood and a round of applause followed for the handsome bartender poet.i was stunned. *********** I walked down the river walk quite often , sometimes during the day to breath some fresh air and feel the sun on my face, sometimes at night to melt into people's shadows and watched. People seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was very careful on who I was going to let into my interpersonal space. No one ever dared to infiltrate my world. No one even dared. Not that am not sociable, I can be the life of the party when I choose to. I would watch the water taxis ferry tourists to the boutiques and ferries along the river. The boutiques where a lot of items cost slot more than their worth, but the little sticker on the bottom showed that they were purchased in a place that would impress those who were back at home. I wasn't impressed but again nothing seemed to impress me these days. Sometimes I would sit in a bench( a bench I used to call my bench) and threw bread to ducks along the river. I also dropped popcorn onto the grass for smaller birds and squirrels . They never said thanks you but I knew they appreciated it. Night was much better for me I could hide then, not behind walls and fences but out in the open. People never noticed someone at night unless they were paranoid or looking for someone or something. No one peered into the shadows. They usually any saw their partners and enjoyed the cloak of privacy the darkness seemed to give them and hoped no one would see them. The cloak was a solo garnet for me. That night I was pacing like a caged animal unable to sit still on my bench I had to move. So u walked a mile long along the river side and terraced my steps. Maybe for physical exercise and the breath of fresh air would tire me and I would be able to sleep well tonight ,without nightmares and reincarnations. Finally I decided that I needed something that would help and walked along the river until I came across a side street. Right around the corner was a side bar that didn't seem too crowded and wasn't bright and noisy and older bar without a glitzy exterior . The face hadn't been painted for several years .it seemed hidden from the garish of party goers , only attracting the social local drinkers who weren't looking for parties or to get laid or even to flirt. Those who simply wanted a glass of something to take the edge off, my kind of people. Inside I looked around older patrons sat at dim lights in the bar and chatted softly . There were only a couple dozen people , the music was low and the atmosphere was just what I needed. I sat at a stool on the bar. Sitting at the table would look like I was looking for company. The bartender was a handsome man younger than me ,my height and a little thinner than meHe had medium brown hair that barely brushed at her collar bones and the most captivating small blue eyes. I didn't want to stare at them so much so that it doesn't seem like am interested. "Scotch " I ordered "neat" "Single malt or blended " "single. " She reached for a glass and a bottle on the top shelf and poured a shot, the caps had these special caps that measure the liquor so you don't have to use a shot glass. It also made sure that the bartender wasn't too generous . He smiled when I paid and laid down the tip but didn't say anything ,merely picked it up and slid it into his pocket and walked to another part of the bar. I like that type of a bartender .I don't like a psychiatrist bartender if I needed one I would go to one. There was something about him though. I looked up to him time and time again to watch for a moment but not too long , so he wouldn't think I was asking her to talk to me. I glanced up once when she took some long necks to one of the tables, nice and I thought as she walked across the floor. Moves nicely, the package wasn't bad at all. Then my eyes returned to my drink. I was contemplating my glass when someone sat beside me. "Can I buy you another drink? " His voice had a medium range and tone. Nothing distinct about it. "Nope" I didn't look up to see who it was. He'd been drinking I could smell the beer in his breath as he moved closer to me and leaned over. "Did you watch the game last night? " "Nope" It was good but Peter blew it in the sixth inning. "You like baseball ?" "Nope, " "But you are a hockey fan. " "Nope,.. " "Do you say anything else apart from nope" "Nope, " "playing hard to get guying, " He talked and talked and talked trying anything that would get my attention. Sports, the weather ,just about everything . I was glad he didn't start up with religion that would be the final straw. I'm not sure I had lost my faith but I wasn't ready to talk about it. So on he talked . Still I ignored him hoping he'd get the message. Not surprised that he didn't. not surprised at all