Crushing on my brother's best friend

Rosie's POV: Hello, my name is Rosie Carter. I have an older brother named Josh. When I was eleven, my mom wanted to adopt a teenage girl. That is how Kylie joined our family. She was very nice to me and treated me like her little sister. The problem was that my brother fell for her. That's why she didn't get adopted. No one would like to date their stepsister. That took a lot of time because she needed to be twenty-one. I mean, not to get adopted or live in a foster care center. Luckily, my mom knew what to do. Now, Josh and Kylie live happily together with two kids. I go to see them from time to time. After all, I have to go to school. High school was supposed to be fun, but it turned out exactly the opposite. I don't even want to go anymore. People keep making fun of me for every move that I make. I started wondering if I would be able to do something right. Sadly, I am a senior, and my mom won't transfer me to another school. The other reason is that I have never told her about this. The only person I share everything with is my best friend, Austin. He, my brother, and Devan are still best friends. Devan has a girlfriend named Natalie. The only person who doesn't want to get one is he. I tried to ask him why, but I saw it annoyed him. That's why I decided to stop. Also, this is not my business. Of all the people around me, I feel comfortable only with him. I know he will do everything to keep me safe and help me resolve my problems. I often go to his house, sometimes even for a sleepover. His guest room became mine a couple of years ago. I can explain to Josh that we are only friends. After all, I know what he and Austin talked about. That was a couple of years ago. I don't want to be part of it. That is something between them. I hope that I will find a way to deal with high school. I can't live in fear every day. It's Monday. That means I have to go to school again. I'm trying to look happy in front of my parents. I don't want them to worry about me. I'm sure they have other things in their heads. What hurts me the most are the comments that people say about me. They keep making fun of me. Mostly, it is for hanging out with Austin because he is eight years older. I don't see anything wrong with that. There are married couples with more than ten years difference. Also, we are only best friends. I woke up and went to get ready for school. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Neither a single boy looks at me at school. It's not like I'm begging for attention, but I feel the problem is in me. Once, I shared this with Austin, and he said there was nothing wrong with me and that I imagined things. I wish all of this had been true. When I got ready, I took my backpack and went downstairs for breakfast. I am not even hungry, but I have to eat something. Otherwise, my parents will notice that there is something wrong. Right now, I don't want to talk about this. I sat down at the table and took a pancake. - Good morning, honey. How are you? - mom asked - Sleepy. Why do I have to go to school? - Because it's obligational. Your brother was in the same high school as you. - At least he had good grades. - You have them, too. - Rosie, is there a problem? - dad asked - No. Why are you asking? - Because you don't seem enthusiastic about going to school. - Dad, it's not even 7:30 am. I'm sleepy. Why does the school not start at 10 am? - Because you will finish at 4 pm. - I don't see a problem. - Teachers have another job to do. Your tests won't grade themselves. - Ok, fine. I talked with my parents for a while and later went to school. I don't even want to go inside. Well, I have to do it. I quickly went to my locker and left my stuff inside. That's when I heard the notification on my phone. I had a message from Austin. Good morning. I hope you slept well. I want you to know that everything will be fine. Don't listen to anyone. Remember what I told you. That will help you throughout the day. If you want, we can go out when I finish work. Have a nice day. Call me if something happens. I will answer you. I like it when he does this. I feel like Austin is the only person who cares for me. What I mean is my brother. He barely checks on me since he moved out to live with Kylie. I don't need him to be with me all the time. Well, it would be nice if he could spend some time with me. I guess I have to talk with him about that. Otherwise, he won't do it. I was checking something on my phone. Then, a shadow appeared in front of me. It was Jessie and her girls. I wonder what she wants this time. I ignored her and kept looking at my phone. - Are you texting your boy best friend? When he gets what he wants from you, he will dump you. This guy is too old for you. I won't be surprised if he r*pes you. - He will never do that to me. - Tell me one reason why a twenty-six-year-old guy will be with an eighteen-year-old girl. - Because he is my friend. There is nothing wrong with that. At least I have a real one. I wish I could say the same about you. - What did you say? - N-nothing. - Watch out if you don't want every day to be like hell. Understood? - Y-yes. - Good. I suggest you find someone your age. Well, not from the school. As you can see, there is a reason why no one wants to go out with you. - Jessie said and laughed - What I do is not your business. Will you leave me alone? - If I do that, I won't have fun anymore. - Please. - See you on the lunch break, loser. - she said and left I need to learn how to defend myself. I have said many things to her, but only in my head. In real life, most of the time, I am frozen. I don't want to say anything which might make her angry. On the lunch break, I went to the cafeteria. I looked around, but there was no free table. That's why I took an apple and walked back inside. The sad part is that I don't have any friends here. Honestly, I never made some. For some reason, I don't trust anyone here. I mean, not enough to share everything with them. For now, Austin is my only friend. After school, I quickly went home. I didn't want to hear what Jessie and her friends would say about me. It's enough that I have to listen to this every single day. Sometimes, I wish I could disappear. That would make everything so much easier for me. Sadly, I can't do it. I went home and started working on my homework. I use this as a way to escape from reality. If I am busy, I won't think about all my problems. Well, that is a temporary solution. Soon, there was a knock on the door. It was Austin. - What are you doing here so early? - What do you mean? It's 6 pm. - Really? I didn't even check the time. - Are you ok? It's not like I don't know the answer, but I want to hear it from you. - I'm fine. - Do you want us to have dinner at home? You can sleep there if you want. The guest room is yours. - Austin said, chuckling - Thanks. I would love that. - Ok, then. You can take what you need, and let's go. I will wait for you downstairs. - he said and left That is what I call a great best friend. He always knows what and when I need it. I took everything I needed and put it in my backpack. Mostly, those were my books for tomorrow. I have to go to school. When I was ready, I walked downstairs. Austin was talking with my parents. I have to say that they love him. Dad trusts him enough to let him care for me all the time. I am glad that they understand each other so well. - I'm ready. - Great. I will bring her back tomorrow when I come from work. - No problem. As long as she is not bothering you, she can stay with you as much as she wants. - dad said - Your daughter is the perfect roommate. - That's what I want to hear. Austin and I walked to his house. I have been here many times. Whenever I'm not in the mood or want to talk with someone, I always come here. That is the only person who will understand me even when I don't speak. I don't know how he does this. - Ok, what do you want for dinner? - I'm not hungry. - I don't care. If you don't choose something, I will do it. - The choice is yours. - I said and walked into the guestroom I started coming here often when I was sixteen. I was lost and needed someone to put my senses back. Then I realized that I felt good here. We are only friends, but that is more than enough for me. Losing him is the last thing I want to happen. I can't afford that. Otherwise, I won't be able to find someone like him. Soon, there was a knock on the door, and he walked in. - Will you tell me what is bothering you? I know you didn't want to talk in front of your parents, but we are alone here. You can share it with me. I won't tell anyone. You know that. - I don't know. - Yes, you do. - No. I mean, I don't know what is wrong with me. Sometimes I feel empty as if I'm not worth anything anymore. - That is not true. You are worth more than anyone else in this world. Stop caring about what people say about you. They only want to upset you. These people don't know you the way I do. That's why you shouldn't believe them. You will listen to only me. Understood? - Yes. Do you want me to help with dinner? - I'll be fine. You can rest. I will call you when it's ready. - Thank you. - I'll be quick. - he said and left I stayed for a while in my room. Then I walked downstairs. I looked at my best friend, who was making us dinner. Sometimes, I don't know how he can stand me. I am probably impossible. Well, as I see it, he doesn't mind. Why there can't be more people like him? This is around what type of people I want to be. I want to spend more time with my brother. Well, he is always busy. Maybe I'm not that important to him. I came to reality when I saw the plate in front of me. I must have zoned out. Lately, that started happening often. - The food is delicious. - I'm glad that you like it. We can watch a movie after dinner or sit and talk. I'll let you decide. - Honestly, I don't want to do anything. The only reason I came here is that my parents won't ask me millions of questions. You know how worried they can get. - That is their job. Josh can take care of himself, but you can't. I mean, not like him. You might be a good actress in front of them, but you can't fool me. I know when something is wrong with you. Also, I know when there is a problem. - You are too good for this job. - But I like it. - You know that you don't have to do all of this. You can kick me out and break this friendship. No offense, but you look like a babysitter to me. I don't need that. - But you need a friend. We might not be the same age, but it doesn't mean I won't be here with you. - Can I know why you are doing all of this? You're supposed to go out with friends, maybe with girls, and have fun. I mean, not to stay with an eighteen-year-old all the time. It's not like I mind. I appreciate that you do it. - Look, what I do is my business and my decision. I am old enough to know what I'm doing. - I know. Don't you want to be with people your age? - Let me ask you something. How often do I go out with your brother and Devan? - I don't know. Maybe one or two times a month. - Exactly. The problem is that all of us are working and don't have time for anything. - So you are with me because I am in high school. - No. As you can see, I finish my work at 5 pm. Can't you accept without asking questions? - Austin asked, chuckling - Ok, I won't say anything. - I didn't mean that. - Are you sure? - Yes, I am. The rest of the dinner we spent talking. I used to prank him all the time. When I was fourteen, I decided to stop. I was old enough to stop it. No one in school knew about this, but I didn't want them to make fun of me for something else. Maybe no one did it. The thing is that I felt like people were laughing at me all the time. Austin said he would wash the dishes. In that case, I will walk into my room. He finished and came to see me. - I am ready. What do you want us to do now? - Nothing. - How was your school day? You didn't say anything. I believe something has happened. - It was good. I didn't talk to anyone. - Will you stop lying to me? You know I don't trust you. - Fine. Some girls talked to me, but I ignored them. - What did they say? - It's not your business. It was about me, not you. - What comment they made about me? - I said it wasn't about you. - Rosie, stop lying to me. You know that I know everything. Please tell me the truth. - They said that you are too old for me. Also, when you get what you want, you will leave. - And? - That you will r*pe me. - Is that everything? - Yes, it is. - You know what the truth is. Why do you believe them? - I don't, but it hurts me when they talk like that about you. They have no idea what type of person you are. - That's why you shouldn't believe what they say. You know me better than anyone else. - I'm sorry. - It's ok. Let's watch a movie now. - I won't deny it. Austin and I watched the movie peacefully. In the middle of it, he kissed the top of my head. That is one of the things that makes me calm down. I know I shouldn't listen to what they say. The thing is that their words hurt. Maybe that is what they want to do. For some reason, these girls want to hurt me and make me feel terrible. I will try to ignore them and focus on my studies. It's better if I listen to what my best friend says. He knows me better than anyone else, even my parents. I stopped sharing with them when the problems came. If they do something, that only will make things worse. I hope that one day, all of my problems will be gone. That is all I want.