Christmas with the Gerard's

Christmas 2006.  Christmas day with my family is both the best and worst day of the year.  We are a large family; I am one of six siblings. We spend Christmas at my Nan's house. The whole family gathers here for about a week before Christmas and it’s usually chaos.  My older brother James is a bit of a slob, so he just sits around and does nothing which gets on everyone’s nerves, my mum nags him but my Nan always defends him, probably has first grand-baby syndrome or something! Then after James my parents were graced with twins, my sisters; Avery and Mallory, who couldn’t be more different, eighteen months younger than James, Avery and Mallory were a bit of a shock to my parents, who weren’t planning on more children so soon after James. Avery is married to Toby, they have two children, Polly and Nathan, Avery fell pregnant while she was still at college and her and Toby decided to get married, she never finished her education, choosing instead to become a stay-at-home mum, while Toby, who comes from money, got to finish his education and he is close to inheriting his father’s accountancy firm, or so he brags at every family gathering! No one likes him, except James, but then they were close friends before Toby married Ave. Mallory has two kids too, two boys, Lucas and Maddox, they are the sweetest kids ever and I love babysitting for her. Her partner Austin, is away on business and is spending Christmas in London with his parents, Mallory flat out refused to drive down there, so things are a bit tense around her.   My favourite sibling is Theo, he is seven years my senior but we are super close, I am his baby sister and he says he will always protect me, especially from boys, he says I will have a hard time finding a husband, because he will have to approve. I always laugh when he says that, because the man I want to marry is none other than Theo’s best friend Colton. But that’s another story. My last sibling is Gabriel. Gabriel is the family’s baby, he was the most unexpected pregnancy ever, seeing as how the doctors though my mum had stomach cancer. But no, turns out it was just a baby! Gabriel is eight years younger than me; he was the only one to never met our father Lucien, who died two months before Gabriel was born. A drunk driver ran a red light and t boned my dad’s car, he died instantly on impact, he had just picked up Theo and Colton from football practice and Theo broke his arm and left leg while Colton walked away with bruises and cuts everywhere.   This year, Christmas will be even worse, seeing how my mum’s sister, Aunt Heidi is coming home to spend it with us. Her and my mum don’t see eye to eye. I never understood why, but I think it’s something to do with my granddad Levi, who died of cancer a few years back. Aunt Heidi barely ever saw him after he got ill and she barely even made it to his funeral, she left before the wake even started. Mum never forgave her; I think that’s why they bicker. Nan says it’s none of my business so I don’t bother anymore.   It’s hard to explain my family, we are big, loud, messy, there are arguments at every gathering and Christmas is the worst one for drama! Christmas day is supposed to be a happy occasion, a celebration of family and love, but somehow, some one always ends up crying. This year, that someone is me.   After everyone had gone to bed, I sneaked out of my room window and made my way down to the garage, I knew that’s where my aunt Heidi kept her menthol cigarettes and I had been craving one all night. I know, I know, smoking is bad for you, but what can I say, I’m a rebel.  I quietly opened the door and directed myself towards her hiding spot. I found these by accident when I was twelve, curious to what they were I stole one and took it to school, my best friend Danny told me it was a menthol cigarette and since her dad smoked some, she showed me what to do. It was disgusting and I nearly died from coughing. But alas when I turned fifteen, I decided to try again and this time I enjoyed it. I’ve smoked ever since, I prefer normal cigarettes, but I can’t keep any of them in the house. My Nan would find them and clobber me, hence why my aunt keeps hers out here. She’s a rebel like me. Never conforming to society, my aunt Heidi decided to become a flight attendant and she never married, much to my nan’s displeasure. But my aunt is happy and she leads a fabulous life, albeit a bit lonely at times, or so she says. I’ve heard my mother and her friend talk about all the studs my aunt bags on her travels and to be honest, I’m not surprised. My aunt is stunning, five foot eight tall, her tanned curvy body toned to perfection, her clothes always in style and tight to her figure, her soft blue eyes framed by her short sleek redish brown bob. She turns everyone’s heads. Even the heads she shouldn’t turn. Like Toby’s.  I stood in the cold garage, slowing enjoying each drag of my cigarette, trying hard to make it last, when I heard a clatter outside. I immediately duck down behind some boxes and much to my despair stub out my cigarette to avoid getting caught. I can hear giggling and assume it’s probably one of my siblings getting frisky. I stand to leave when the garage door opens slowing and two tangled bodies enter, I crouch down again, my heart drumming in my chest. I hear the telltale sound of lips smacking and clothes flying off, and I know in that moment I’m about to listen to one of my family members have s*x. I struggle to keep myself from gagging at the thought when I hear a very familiar voice.  ‘Hurry, we haven’t for long, I want to f**k you hard, I’ve been dreaming of being inside you all week’  I hear the desperate moans and groans and then, skin slapping on skin, louder moans of pleasure echo around the garage. I close my eyes, forcing them shut so not to catch any glimpse of whatever the hell is going on out there.  ‘Oh Toby! ‘I gasp involuntary at the voice, that is not Avery’s voice ‘Harder, f**k my ass harder! ‘  My stomach turns and I feel the bile rising up into my mouth, I cover my mouth with both my hands to stop the sick escaping. I’m struggling so badly to keep quiet.  ‘I’m gonna c*m! Turn, I want you to eat it! ‘  I gag once more at the vulgar words and again I have to swallow the hot bile in my mouth. After what felt like an eternity of moaning and slurping. They finish off and leave. I wait a good ten minutes before leaving the garage. How am I gonna tell my sister her husband is having s*x with her…  I am so distracted by my thoughts I hardly notice Colton staggering into the garden, I watch slowly as he makes his way towards me, a lopsided smile on his lips.   ‘Hey D, what are you doing down time at this here?’ He giggles childishly when he realizes what he said and I can’t help but laugh with him, he’s so cute. Although, I would never dare call him cute, he’s a twenty-two-year-old man! We end up sitting outside chatting for a few minutes, before he hugs me tight and kisses my lips softly. My heart hammers in my chest at the surprise of his warm lips on mine and my heart hammers wildly in chest. Too soon he pulls back and gives me a sad smile.   ‘Merry Christmas D. I wish you weren’t Theo’s little sister.’ He smiles once again like nothing happened and walks away, leaving me standing there like a statue. What did he mean by that? I shiver after a few seconds of standing in the cold, Toby and his adventure long out of my mind I head up to bed and fall into a deep sleep.  I wake up to a heavy feeling on my chest, I open my eyes and watch terrified as Toby sits on top of my tummy, his hands holding my pink fluffy pillow, he grins evilly at me and lowers the pillow over my face before I have a chance to scream, I fight for air with all my might, my hands fly to his arms, scratching and punching, my legs kick wildly behind him, occasionally kneeing him in the back, but he doesn’t budge. My lungs burn and my eyes are filled with tears, I sob quietly as I realize he is about to kill me, I give up and stop fighting. Darkness edges at the corners of my mind and I groggily realize he has moved the pillow; he leans on me once again and whispers: ‘See what I can do to you little girl? I loved the feel of your body writhing under mine; I am going to love making you terrified. Being part of this family just got really fun.’ He softly kisses my lips and walks out; I gulp as much air as I can while trying not to make too much noise. I am terrified out of my mind and the only thing I can think of now is to pack my bags and run. I can’t stay anywhere he can get to me!   I had been saving my birthday and Christmas money to buy myself a brand-new laptop, but I guess I will have to use that for a train ticket now. I know deep down what I am about to do is really stupid, but even the three hundred pounds I have saved aren’t enough, I head quietly into the kitchen and open nan’s secret biscuit tin, inside I find a big roll of twenty-pound notes, whispering a quiet forgive me, I take the whole lot and shove into my back pack. I stop when I imagine my mum waking up and panicking, so I leave a simple note for her on the table and I never look back.   ************    My plan failed miserably when I remembered it is Christmas day! There are no buses or trains. It’s freezing cold, so I look around for a hotel with vacancies but everywhere seems to be full up. I sit under the bus shelter and eventually fall asleep. I wake up freezing cold and notice it’s day light, the town is bustling with people heading to their Boxing day sales. No one notices me, and I feel like s**t. How could all these people walk past a young girl sleeping rough and not help? That’s humanity for you.   I grab a hot chocolate from a small coffee shop and head to the train station, I catch a train to Kenling, it’s a small town about three hours from Knimow where we live, so I will be far, but at the same time not too far away.  I board the train and relish in the warmth, I am exhausted so I fall asleep very quickly, when I wake up the train has stopped, so I look around and notice it’s just me in there. I grab my bag and get out; I sigh in relief when I see the sign at the station “Welcome to Kenling!”   I set off exploring, I come across a sweet little cottage that happens to be a b&b, I walk in and the sweet old lady at the desk offers me a room straight away. She is about sixty and look a bit like my nan, I love her instantly. I head up to my room and unpack, I plug my phone in and turn it on, it blows up with texts and missed calls, I listen to the voicemails from my mum, nan and Theo, but the one that surprises me is a voicemail from James; “Come home, you are safe around me.” That’s all he said. Does he know what Toby did? I don’t for one second believe he would keep me safe; James is high as a kite most of the time, I’m surprised he even knows I’m gone. I do the only logical thing; I text Theo.  *I’m safe and sound, tell nan I am sorry and I will pay her back one day. I can’t come home anymore Theo; I am not safe there. I love you all, but please, don’t look for me. *   I wait for the delivered message to ping and as soon as I know it has been sent, I open my phone and remove the SIM. I break it and flush it down the toilet. I then stomp on my phone until it is in bits. I will buy a new one tomorrow, and then I better find myself a job, the money I stole from my nan won’t last me forever.   *********  A lot has changed in the last fourteen years. I am no longer a scared little girl, now; I am a strong woman. I worked hard to get to where I am today. After four years of working at Kenling Primary School I am now the head of year one. It was a difficult journey, after I moved here, I ended up working at the B&B where I stayed, Mrs. Cook was a lovely landlady and friend, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be a teacher now, she pushed me to go to college and when I passed my childcare course with flying colours she bullied me into applying for Uni. She threw a huge party when I got accepted, and she had place of pride at my graduation. Mrs. Cook was the only person who knew the truth. I told her everything Toby had done, and she kept me safe. Two years after I left, I was in the kitchen making the guests some breakfast when she walked in there and told me my brother was outside. He had found me, I told her I didn’t want to see him and she handed me a letter, he knew I wouldn’t see him, it broke my heart, but I took the letter and later that night I lay in bed sobbing while reading it.  *” Dear Delia, I finally found you. You may have thought I wouldn’t look for you but I did. We miss you; I miss you, please come home. I don’t know why I am bothering; you’re a stubborn mule and you won’t come back. At least tell me what happened. I mean, I’m pretty sure I know what happened. I saw you that night, in the garden with Colt. I saw you kiss, and the next day we wake up to find you gone, the you tell me you are not safe? Did Colt force you into something? He won’t tell me anything, he said he pecked your lips because he was on a whole new level of drunk (his words not mine) and it meant nothing to him. Is that why you ran? Delia please. Here, I changed my number last week because of a crazy b***h, if you need me call me, it's 07*********. Love T.”  I texted him and we’ve been in contact since. He keeps me up to date with family stuff and in turn I feed him little things about my life, he promised he would never tell anyone where I live, I would be too scared that Toby would show up to finish the job.   Turns out Mallory left her husband and he has remarried and has a daughter, Avery and Toby had another baby, a girl. They called her Ada-Levi. He sent me a photo when she was a new born and she was the chubbiest thing ever. I never told him when I was graduating because I knew he’d come and if I saw him, I would have left with him.     After a hard day at school, I came home to my two-bed terraced house I share with my best friend Phoebe and my dog Smeagol. He’s a beagle! Phoebe is a neo natal nurse and we met at a bar in town, this creep was hitting on her and wouldn’t take no for an answer, I had been watching them for a bit and I could feel her fear a mile away, I threw my jacket back on and walked towards them with a smile.   “Baby!” I called sweetly as I approached them, her face contorted in confusion, but I proceeded to smack my lips on hers and while widening my eyes so she would get the message. She winked and I moved back. “Long day at work, sorry I am late.” I laced our finger and looked the man standing there gawping at us like a fish. “Can I help you sir?” I asked him sweetly and he huffed and left! We ended up chatting for hours and became fast friends, when her boyfriend kicked her out six months later, I offered her my spare room. She became like a sister to me. But I still never told her about Toby.   I walk in and notice a white envelope on the table, I grab it and the writing on it surprises me, Mum’s.   I tear open the envelope and my heart drops down to my feet when I read it. Tears brim my eyes as Phoebe comes through the door behind me.   “Delia? What’s wrong?” I wipe my tears and clear my throat.  “My nan is dying; I'm going home for Christmas”.