My ex is my soulmate

Ally's POV: My name is Ally Davis and I am 19 years old. I graduated from high school and now it's time to go to university. I chose to study art because I have always liked it. When I was little, I was always drawing. It's not like it was something good, but for a five-year-old kid, it was ok. My paintings were always on the fridge. My parents said that they loved my drawings, but I'm sure that it wasn't true. In my first year in high school, I decided to join the art club. There I learned many things thanks to the people who helped me. During high school, I also met my two best friends, Jasmine and Charlotte. They were always with me and I'm glad that we spend so much time together. Sadly, we'll go in different ways, but I hope that we'll never lose connection. I know that at university, I will meet new people, but I will miss the girls. They were a very important part of my life. Maybe when we graduate, we can meet again. Who knows? The worst part is that I still love my ex-boyfriend. We started dating in the spring vacation of junior year and, because of our stupidity, we broke up. No one wanted this, but it was too late. Usually, high school relationships fall apart after graduation, but I still can't move on. Maybe the problem is in me. I wanted to talk with him, but never got the courage. I'm afraid that he is still mad at me. I guess that it wasn't meant to be. Currently, I am laying in my bed. I called my best friends for one last slumber party. After two days is my flight. There is one week until university, but I want to go earlier, so I can see where my dorm is and get ready. I have no idea who my roommate will be. What I can do is try to be nice to her, and maybe make her my friend. I looked at my nightstand and saw the picture of Austin and me. Why does it have to hurt so much? I miss him so much, but I'm afraid to talk with him. Moreover, now he will be occupied with his university, so I am the last thing that he will think about. It's not like I haven't wished for it. I started thinking about everything that happened between us. We were just two teenagers exploring the world together. If someone had warned me that I would fall so deeply, I was never going to do it. The girls have tried to cheer me up. Mostly by making me talk with boys. I did it, but it never worked. Whenever I was talking with a boy, Austin appeared in my mind. Just like now. Let me tell you how we broke up. ~ THROWBACK ~ Austin and I went for a night walk. We went to a park. I won't say that this is our place, but we come here often. I have to say that here we had our first kiss. We passed by some boys and Austin pulled me close. I know that he is getting jealous and only wants to protect me, but lately, I feel like he is overdoing it. - Austin, you don't have to do this every time. - Yes, I do. When I turn around, there are always boys, checking you out. Like you are a fresh piece of meat. - So what? Usually, I don't mind it, but lately, you do it too often. I'm fine. As you can see, I am still with you. - And now, I am the bad guy. - I didn't say that. I'm saying that you need to calm down a little. - Ok, then. The next time someone does something to you, I will leave you to deal with it by yourself. - Why are you getting mad? - Because you are making me. - Is it bad that I want some space? When we are at home, everything is fine, but once we go outside, you go in protective and jealous mode. In the beginning, you weren't like that. - Because back then I didn't love you that much. I didn't even know what I was doing. Now it's different. - What is different? We are the same. - Since you want some space, here. Take it. - he said, and let go of my hand - Will you stop getting mad about everything? - I'm not mad. I just want you to understand me. - And I do, but I wish that you could do it too. - Since both of us can't understand each other, maybe we should break up. - he said, coldly - Ok, let's do it. - FINE! - WE'RE DONE! With that, I realized what I had just said. Did we just break up? I didn't mean it and I'm sure that he did too. Austin looked at me but didn't say anything. I guess that he meant it. No, this is a mistake. He can't just break up with me. I can't do it either. He is the best thing that has happened to me since I met my best friends. - Look, Ally... - No. Don't say anything. Your eyes already did it. - I said and walked away ~ END OF THROWBACK ~ Already three months have passed since that, but it's still fresh in my head. I felt tears in my eyes but wiped them before I broke down. I don't know how he feels, but I'm not ok, and I don't know will I ever be. I closed my eyes and let all the memories come. Soon I felt something on my bed. They were two things. Jasmin and Charlotte. - What did we tell you about Austin? - Jasmine asked - That the next time when I think about him, you will tickle me until I have no more energy. - Exactly. - Please girls, don't do it. This won't help. I tried everything, but I can't forget him. - Ally, you have to stop thinking about him. He is not doing it. - Charlotte said - From where do you know? - Nowhere, but since he didn't check to see how you are, it's visible that he has moved on. - Yeah, Charlotte is right. You need to stop thinking about him and move on. Look at it from the bright side. Soon you are going to university, where you will meet new people. Maybe there will be hot boys as well. - Jasmin said, chuckling - I don't want another boy. I want mine. - He is not yours! Stop acting like a crybaby and get up. - Jasmin, what do you have in mind? - We are going shopping, then for milkshakes and, in the end, we'll have a movie night. - I like this. Let's go. - Have fun. - You know that you are coming with us, right? - Jasmin said and looked at me - Fine. Otherwise, you won't leave me in peace. The three of us walked out. My best friends wanted to go to the mall, so I went with them. Usually, I don't mind it, but lately, I'm not in the mood for anything. I know that they are right and that I have to move on, but I can't. His face is like an image stuck in my head. The worst part of all is that I still have feelings for him. How can I start dating another boy when I love my ex? Yes, I said it. I love Austin. The thing is that I never stopped, neither meant what I said that day. I will do anything to go back in time and fix it, but I know that it's impossible. - Ally, why don't you try this dress? You will need something which makes you hot when you go to university. - Thanks, but I would wear something simple. Like those jeans here. - Why do you always have to be so boring? Won't you wear something nice for once? - Look, I'm not in the mood for shopping. - Lately, you are not in the mood for anything. - Charlotte said - Forget him! - Jasmin said - I can't! - Why? - Because I still love him! With that, both of them looked at me. To be honest, I have never said this out loud. I walked out of the store and went to sit on a bench. Why can't I forget him and move on? Why does it have to be so hard? I don't understand. Some people do this for a couple of days, while I can't do this for more than three months. The girls came and sat on both of my sides. - Why didn't you tell us? - Jasmin asked - How was I supposed to? Both of you told me to forget him. - Because we didn't know that you had feelings for him. We thought that you only felt hurt. - Charlotte said - I wish that it was like that. I can't talk with a boy when I have feelings for my ex. - If you have told us this, we were never going to make you date someone. - I know, but this wasn't going to help. - Let's go for milkshakes. This can cheer you up. - Charlotte said All of us went to a diner. We ordered milkshakes and sat at a table. I won't tell them that Austin and I used to come here often. I know that they are trying their best to cheer me up, so I will put in some effort. We talked about university and what we'll do when we graduate. I'm sad that our ways separate, but it's for the best. Maybe after our graduation, we can meet again. For dinner, we were at home. My parents said that they would go out so we can spend some time alone. The girls chose a movie. I ordered pizza, and after half an hour, it was here. It smelled so good. This is well-spent money. I put it on the table in the living room and went to take plates. When they played the movie, I froze at my place. The After movies were our favorite with Austin. Let's say that he was trying to compete with Hardin Scott. I won't mention the fact that Hardin is just a character, and the actor who plays him probably has nothing in common with that. I won't lie that I was enjoying it. - Ally, are you ok? Why did you get upset? - Jasmine asked me - This was our favorite movie. The whole series. He was trying to compete with Hardin. - I said, smiling - He did what? - Charlotte asked - Ok, we won't do anything. Whatever we try, it always reminds you of him. - Hey, it's fine. After all, it's my favorite movie. - Is Hero single? - Charlotte asked, which made Jasmin and I start laughing - I don't know. Why don't you ask him? - Jasmin said, chuckling - I don't have his phone number. - He has an **. - Great idea Jasmine. - No, no. You won't do this. - I said and took her phone - Ally! - Leave the boy alone. Otherwise, he will think that you are a crazy fan. - Yeah, she is right. - Let's continue with our movie. - Are you sure that you are ok with this? - Charlotte asked me - Yes. Instead of being a crybaby, I will be happy that it happened. Not many people had the same happiness as me. - You still miss him, right? - Jasmine asked - I do, but it's too late. - No, it's not. Why don't you call him or send him a message? - I can't. He is still mad at me. - Why are you so sure? - Because if he wasn't, we should've made up. - Don't give up on him. If Austin still means something to you, go and talk with him. - Thanks, but I have other things in my head. For example, university. - Maybe you will have luck this year. - I hope so. The girls and I watched the rest of the After series. I won't lie that all of them remind me of Austin, but I won't think about him. Somehow, I need to move on. We had great memories together, but this is in the past. I need to think about my future and not my past. If I have luck, maybe I will find someone who will keep me occupied. Probably he won't be like Austin, but I will give him a chance. I have to stop complaining about my ex and look at what I have in front of me. Good university and an opportunity for a great future. I hope that this year will be better.