Dragon’s Fire- Fake it till we fall

Out with the new, in with the old. That’s not how this saying goes, but it is certainly what it feels like to be back here. Home. The Blue Ridge Pack. I let out a puff of air to get some of my fringe out of my eyes. The fact that I have to come back here after finally getting a glimpse at what freedom feels like has my chest tighten. The road to my childhood home comes into view: The Blue Ridge pack house. I slow down the car. Guess there could be worse reasons to come back than my brother’s Alpha ceremony. I still can’t quite believe that the great Elliot Hartgrave will call it quits. Well, he probably won’t… not entirely anyway. I’m sure he will find a loophole to weasel his way back in. I scoff and can’t suppress a smile. Not many people are actually able to make me smile. Dad has always been number one on that very short list. You know how parents always say they don’t have a favorite child? While that is true for my mom, her love for all of us sheer insanity.. yeah, no: everyone knows that I am dad’s favorite. It never caused problems between the three of us, though. I guess my siblings just always thought I was the one that needed him a little more. Needed a little more shielding from the world. So we wouldn’t be put against each other too harshly. Given I had the honor to go to school with my brother, who looks like a Greek statue come to life and is good at basically any sport you throw at him, though, you can imagine we were compared a lot. Theo is a natural leader, people gravitating towards him… even though his brooding and keeping conversation to one-word answers doesn’t make him the most entertaining company. Of course, the fact that he is the future Alpha might have also played into his popularity, at least with the other wolves in our school. And then there is my sister. A constant, bubbly ray of sunshine. A runway model in scrubs. Always kind, compassionate, forgiving. The worst thing about all that: it’s not an act. That’s just who she is. No matter how hard you try, you will end up falling in love with Elodie Hartgrave. I guess that just left one niche for me. I am the weird one. In primary school, I was strange because I had dreams, visions of the future. Because it was never a problem at home, quite the opposite, mom would encourage me to talk about them; I started telling kids about what I had seen. And it didn’t work out in my favor. I kept having the same dream over and over. About… A bold of white light and a sharp pain shoots through my right temple. SH**. I rub it tentatively. That’s what bugs me the most about this situation: I can’t even remember what they found so strange. 
Because a few years later, I evolved from the weird third Triplet to the sob story, when I lost my wolf shortly after getting it, due to some freak accident. With my wolf went the visions, the ‚gift’ in general. So everybody who wasn’t already avoiding me, because I was ‚weird’, started to now because they didn’t know what to say. Nothing. I didn’t want people to say anything. Just listen. But I guess that was too hard, even for my parents. I love them. So much. And as great as they are as leaders and however well they raised us… there were still things they didn’t handle right. Early on, the attacks would come in the form of snarky comments. Maybe someone would trip me, or my books were hidden, homework destroyed (only if my siblings weren’t around, of course). Whenever it happened, I would tell my parents, naive like I was. Thought it would change something. They would call the kid’s parents to have us talk it out. Then followed a forced apology, a forced acceptance of apology, and even worse insults the next time. Thus began a vicious cycle. My parents didn’t see it that way. After being tormented by a stranger for years, my mom was adamant not to let this rest. And my dad agreed, having been harassed all his childhood by either his dad or his peers with his dad’s approval….Needless to say, they both were pushing an agenda. With all their love for me and their wish to make it right, they stopped listening. So I stopped talking. The only time my bullies stopped was in the year after my accident. But as soon as both Theo and Elodie had left school (Elodie to follow into our mom’s footsteps and go to college in her early teens and Theo at 15 to intensify his training and finish his degree at home), all hell broke loose. Tripping me or name-calling was not enough any longer. I was regularly cornered in the bathroom, my face punched, and my books dunked in the toilet. Whenever I so much as looked up at someone of the opposite s*x, rest assured there was some girl right there to tell me to “look away, Morticia.“ “What are you trying to do? Hypnotize my boyfriend?“ “If you want a guy so badly, why don’t you just go and dig up some poor dude at the nearest graveyard?“, referring to me wandering around cemeteries in our area, looking for I don’t know what, skipping school to do so in third grade. And when I didn’t show the guys any attention, I would be called cold, arrogant. “What, are we not good enough for you? See the little ice princess walk.“ They would try to grope me, me dodging their assaults most of the time. Except for once, when I was cornered by three dudes on the football team and dragged to a bathroom. Given I didn’t have a wolf any longer, I guess they thought I was weak enough, and they just wanted themselves a taste of “that alpha p***y“, since they never had the chance to “get it on” with my sister. My saving grace was that a teacher came in, and they had to stop. I still went home with a bloody nose, bruises all up my arms, legs, inner thighs, and ripped clothes. That was three months in. And also, the moment I had enough and asked Ryan to teach me self-defense. Training with our soon-to-be Gamma paid off. Let’s just say I sent home quite a few girls and even two of the douchebags who tried it on with me with black eyes to match their souls. Of course, that didn’t go unnoticed. So now I was the troublemaker, my parents trying to find the balance between punishing me and helping me to ‚cope‘, as they called it. But as I said, I had stopped talking. Even though my reputation was terrible, my grades were not, and I got into a fine arts program at the University of Athens, and boy, did I jump on that opportunity. I talked about going there with my paternal grandmother when I was younger and could still go and ‚visit ‘her. Her eyes used to light up when she talked about that place. Grandma Elodie was my second favorite to visit in the moon goddess’s realm…right after Violet, my half-sister. I loved spending time with her. Don’t get me wrong, I love my siblings, but it was different. We shared a lot more of the same personality trades, as weird as it sounds. How can you possibly have something in common with a girl that died when she was four, right? Mom lost both her children from her first marriage, her mate, and the rest of her pack and family to a guy who stalked her for years. Out of some weird obsession to father a gifted child and take over the rule of the supernatural world (see why she would be prone to overcorrect and be a little too protective?). But through all her stories and with my, then, gift of being able to visit them, it felt like they were still real. All of them. Things that were important to them, what they wanted to do in life, places they wanted to see again. So I did some of that stuff for them… even though there were some things I didn’t get to tell them about, like my move to Greece. The three and a half years there were the best of my life since my early childhood. I had friends, found a scene with the art and photography nerds, and got to live my life how I see fit. Without constantly being reminded that I’m the only Hartgrave without a laid out path, without having to face my school bullies everywhere I go, and safe face because I’m the Alpha’s daughter. Well, all fun and games are over now. I graduated and dragged coming back out as long as my funds lasted. But no matter how many part-time jobs I worked, Theo’s Alpha ceremony wasn’t something I could effort to miss. Mom begged me. And even though he tried not to seem like he was putting too much pressure on me, I could see dad really wanted me to come too. The tires are scrunching against the pebbles in the pack house’s driveway. F**k. Now there is no turning back. I take another deep breath in. It might seem a little much to some, but growing up as the constant outcast, constantly mocked and compared to your siblings, never good enough, this place gives me anxiety. And only the mental image of leaving again can make me feel better. I steel myself, closing my eyes after putting the rental car in ‚park‘. It’s just for three weeks, I tell myself. Once Theo’s ceremony is done, I will leave. Back to my life. Far from wolves that pity me, judge me, or despise me. I jump out of the car, smoothing out my leggings. Then, nodding at the guards at the door, I enter the house and slowly look around. The old victorian style, three-story building, hasn’t changed one bit. Still covered in ivy vines. The same warm beige entryway, big chairs off to one side, and bright yellow light coming from the wall sconces. I haven’t even gotten halfway through when a voice thunders from above me. “GOLDIE LOCKS!!“, and a millisecond later, I’m picked up and swung around until my head is spinning. “Jesus, put me down, Ryan.“, I slap the red-haired giant’s shoulder. “Gosh, what is Katie feeding you?“ He chuckles, letting me glide to the floor. “Bone broth and bucket loads of protein shake.“, Ryan winks at me. I let out a snort. “Great, as if you need more muscle.“ “If I want to be the packs next Gamma and kill the new warriors in training, I kind of do.“, my huge friend frowns. “Aww, still sore, that your daddy chose Charlotte to follow in his footsteps as Beta?“, I ask mockingly. “Na-uh. Gamma’s have way more fun. Also, the bureaucracy tied to it would have killed me.“, Ryan responds cheerily, but I see that I kind of hurt him with my comment. “Well, I’m confident you will make an outstanding Gamma.“, I pat his shoulder, having to get on my tiptoes to reach it. My face showing what would be a rueful smile if I was better at emotions. “She is here one second, and you are already hawking my little girl’s time?“, a loud voice sounds from behind us. “Hey, dad.“ And now there is an actual little smile when I see my father’s tall statue move towards us. His grey eyes fixed on me. Looking as dashing as ever, even with the few silver streaks in his otherwise blond hair. A lot of people say we look alike. Well, since I’m the only blond out of us triplets, it’s not that hard to see why they might think so. Other than that, I don’t see it. “Hey, honey.“, dad gives me a big bear hug, lifting me off the floor. Happens naturally when you are shorter than everyone. EVERYONE. Elliot Hartgrave’s hugs are something many people would need to get used to. Tight and all-consuming. But I guess that is what I love about them. He cannot show too much emotion around people other than his family and closest friends. And he puts all he has into those hugs. Squeezing whatever he can’t say at the moment into you. I love that because I’m even worse than him at showing how I feel. Constantly being mocked about my expressive nature and sometimes imagination-heavy ways took a toll on me, can you imagine? Dad puts me down, pushing me back slightly to look at my face. “Mmmh and what shade of grey is that? “, he says, referring to my heavy eye makeup. “It’s called “Coroner“. Do you like it?“, I retort, a smirk on my face. I know the answer. He hates it, just like my mom will. But he wants to be supportive, so he won’t say a thing. “Mmh.“, he hums. “You look like a bat with a bad case of rabies. The Alpha is just playing nice.“, Ryan pipes up. “Shut it, carrot cake. Go back to training, or I will think twice about instating you as Gamma during Theo’s ceremony.“, my dad barks back. “Tsss, whatever, old man.“, Ryan hisses and turns to leave. “See you at dinner, Goldie Locks.“ “How come at 26 we are still waiting for him to grow up?“, my father grumbles, his eyes following his godson as he leaves. Seeing their interaction, one might think they don’t like each other very much. However, the opposite is the case. Dad watched his Beta’s kids grow up, always involved in their lives. He was actually the first to suggest Ryan take over as Gamma after Beta Kyle made his older sister his successor. Dad turns me towards the stairs. “Let’s go find your mom. She will have my a** if I keep you all to myself. We have you around so little. Gotta enjoy every minute.“ Taking my duffle bag from me, he proceeds up the stairs in front of me. The creaking oak wood and the smell of the slightly dusty carpets are what my childhood sounds and smells like to me. I don’t know how many hours Elodie, Theo, and I spent roaming the house and the grounds behind it—looking for the best hiding spots. We were inseparable. Weirdly enough, the gifts that should have brought us closer are what kept us apart to some extent. Theo pursuing Alpha training, Elodie focused on becoming a doctor and me… off with my camera in a graveyard somewhere or taking candid shots of my family and other pack members that I would work into dark collages—mostly portraying woods. We turn right, and my dad enters the family sitting room. My mom jumps off the huge grey couch and is with me in seconds. “My baby! Finally.“, she hugs me tightly. Everything that seems outwardly cool or unapproachable about my dad is warm and inviting about Olivia Hartgrave. Her big brown eyes, soft curls, and warm and compassionate demeanor. Guess that is where Elodie gets it from. “I missed you soooo much.“, she puts some distance between us and kisses my cheek. “Yeah, I missed you too, mom. Good to be back.“, I force myself to smile. Especially around my family, I care enough to at least try and fake it. Inspecting my face, mom frowns. “More metal? Your beautiful face!“ “It’s still beautiful, Liv. She just won’t be able to get an MRI without an hour’s worth of prep time.“, dad muses, which earns him a deadly glare and an elbow to the ribs from my mom. She disapproves of my piercings, plugs, tattoos. Even though she has been outspoken about it, nothing beats her reaction to dad bringing home Theo with his first tattoo. “Hey, you said it yourself: You like tattoos on a man.“, dad had grinned. “Yeah, a grown man, you dimwit. Not my seventeen-year-old son!!! F**k, Elliot!“ That was the only time I ever heard my mom curse. “Where is Emma? I missed the little monster.“, I try and break up the ‚some body modifications are permanent ‘talk that is about to follow. “She is out with some school friends. Homework. But she should be back for dinner. So will Elodie and Theo. They are both so excited that you are back.“, mom beams down at me. Sure they are, I moan inwardly. Our relationship is cordial at best now. Elodie being so nice and caring gives me no chance to hate her for anything, and Theo, though stoic and distant, has been my partner in crime long enough that I can’t discard him either. It’s sad to say that my seven-year-old sister Emma is my only friend. Apart from Ryan. Yep, I’m friends with a kid in primary school. I don’t know what it was, but we just always connected. I loved to help mom take care of her when she was a baby. Something just always drew me to her. Maybe because she didn’t judge me, which was all I got all day at school. And then some pity and concern, once I came home. It never bothered her either that I was 14 years her senior. Guess I stayed a kid at heart, even if that might be hard to imagine for some. “Alright, then I will just drop my stuff in my room and take a shower. Airplanes are basically germ-infested tin cans, right, mom? I’ll see you guys at dinner.“, giving them a wave, I grab my bag from dad’s hand. My room has always been my safe space. Closing the door behind me, I take in the dimly lit space before me. Mom says she finds it depressing, but I like the calming effect the dark green of the massive wall to the left, my bed pushed against it, has on me. On the opposite side is one giant mural of ‚the woods ‘I made from photo scraps I collected over the years. I kept seeing the same forest before of my inner eye, and it calms my mind to have it up on my wall now. It’s still the main motive of my collages, though. I drop my bag and walk over to sit on my bed for a moment. I missed this. Sharing a tiny apartment with five other people over the last three and a half years didn’t give me much personal space. My eyes move over the easel in the corner and a basket with what must be my oil paints. Then they glue onto my e-piano against the wall next to the door. Haven’t played in years. Maybe this is the time to pick it up again. I sigh and fish my phone out of my sweater pouch pocket. Then, blasting Marteria, I go to take that much-needed shower. Collect my thoughts before facing my family and other pack members tonight. ::::::::::::: At dinner, my knees keep bopping up and down out of discomfort. I have never been one to enjoy the pack dining hall. And today, it feels like there are even more eyes on me, given most pack members haven’t seen me in three years. But maybe that is just my imagination. Turning to Emma, I try to focus on the conversation at the table. “So what’s next, Maeve? Anything you want to do now that you are back?“, Heather, my dad’s female Beta, is the first to direct a question at me in the last half hour. “Umh, there is a masters program I’m interested in, but we will see. Theo’s ceremony comes first.“, I say, shrugging my shoulders and nodding over to my brother, who is really engaged with his steak, as it seems. He hates these gatherings just as much as I do. How he ended up the leader out of the three of us, I don’t know. Or maybe it’s the powers that shaped our characters, who knows? When mom first told us about the prophecy, powers, rule over the supernatural world, supporters, and protectors, I think none of us really believed her. But seeing how both Elodie’s and Theo’s abilities grew and are making a difference in our community, there was no denying it much longer. Guess I had my chance and played my cards wrong. Thanks to my accident, the supernatural world will have to live without its ‚true seer‘. “Sounds great, Maeve. If you are bored, you can always come help at the pack hospital. They have a huge number of kids come in over the next few weeks to get vaccinated.“, Elodie beams at me, her grey eyes sparkling. “Sure, I will think about it.“ No one could say ‚no’ to a face as angelic as hers. Dad’s grey eyes, mom’s high cheekbones, dark hair, and a body to kill… my sister is a knockout. And don’t think people were shy to notice, which is why she has been talking about finally introducing her boyfriend to my parents. “There is a good chance he might be my mate.“, she smiled. And at least mom was excited about it. “And if you don’t want to do that, you can do homework with me, and we can start a round of ‚hide and seek‘ wars. Whoever gets away with their hiding spots the most wins. We could play up to 100.“, Emma leans in and whispers in my ear. “Now that sounds like a great plan.“, I whisper back, grabbing her tiny hand and squeezing it. There is some commotion at the end of the table, and I look up in time to see Ryan dragging a chair towards where I’m sitting, his mate hot on his heels. “Ahh, there she is.“, he thunders, finally spotting me. And pushing my sister’s chair to the side, he slights in at the end of the table, Elodie looking a little flustered. “Ryan.“, Katie hisses. Apart from a few jealousy attacks initially, she is a sweet girl. Ryan met her at a pack meet a little over three years ago, and she just moved here this summer. “Sorry, Elodie.“, Katie smiles at my sister apologetically. “Oh, it’s okay.“, Elodie beams back. Katie still has a hard time getting used to her mate being a high-ranking wolf and growing up with the Alpha’s family. In her old pack, Gladstone, the Alpha kept away from the other wolves and never really socialized. It was an offense to look at him for too long. So she was understandably taken aback once she reached here and saw the relationship between Ryan and my dad. “Just sit down, babe.“, Ryan pulls his mate into his lap, her bouncy brown curls now a resting place for his chin. “So, Goldie Locks. What’s it like to be back here?“, he muses, breaking off a piece of bread. “It’s great, so far I only met five of my bullies, and Ernest hasn’t stared at my a** yet.“, I growl at him lowly. He is the only person I will be completely honest with. “Let me know if I need to beat up someone.“, he retorts dryly, Katie’s eyes going wide. “Ryan!“, she hisses again. She has the innocence of a small animal… puppy maybe. Or baby deer. And with her caramel skin and giant brown eyes, she also looks like a deer in the headlights a lot of the time. I just scoff. “I can take care of it myself, but thank you.“ I always have.