Chasing Her Movie Star

 3 juli 2017  *Amore*  “Can you man the prescription desk for a minute darlin’ ?” The older man asks me. “I just need to go get some water”.  “Sure Mr Bangor I say with a small smile”. I have just recently transferred to University of Texas in Austin, from Ohio do to …some personal things, and I have been lucky to get a job in a small apothecary.  He gives me a friendly smile as he scuttles out back and I leave the lice shampoo I was putting on shelves, to go stand behind the counter.  I pull out my phone, looking through my notifications. There is no one in the store anyway.  About ten seconds later the little bell rings and someone comes in. They are sounding busy…walking fast. “Hey…anyone here... I need help”.  “Right here sir, what can I help you…”. I look up, seeing a tall man come towards me… his hazel eyes look kinda distraught.  “Hi… uhm… you look really young to be a pharmacist”. He stops and looks at me, his head slightly c****d.  I feel my cheeks heat up for some reason. “I am not… but if you tell me what the problem is, I might still be able to help”.  “Fire ants”. He bends down and starts scratching his legs. “Bloody beasts jumped me and it itches like hell... I am new to Texas…so… what helps ?”  “Oh I am new here too”. My words make his face kinda fall, like he expects me to tell that I can’t help. “But no worries, I know fire ants and the first thing… stop scratching or you risk an infection”.  He stands up to his full height… damn he is really handsome... he gives me a warm smile. “Sure, of course… but it itches like hell”.  “It does... wait”. I turn to look through the shelves, finding the right cream. “It’s a hydrocortisone cream, it will take the itch… you can put on cold compresses too or soak them in oatmeal baths”.  “Oatmeal baths ? Like breakfast in the bath ?” He makes a cute thoughtful face, like he is trying to imagine swimming in porridge.  I almost roll my eyes, but then I remember he is a customer and it would look bad. “No sir… we have some special oatmeal powder for it…you could make it yourself from whole oats, but this is far easier”.  “I like easy… oh and please say Zac. Sir sounds so.. old”. He is smiling again, he has a beautiful smile, but it’s like it doesn’t  quite reach his eyes. “Give me a pack of that too”.  “Sure… Zac”. I get out from behind the counter to go find it. “I am Amora by the way, but most people call me Ami”.  He looks at me in that way again. “Amora, that’s a special name. I mean you sound american…so ... but pretty…  special and pretty”.  “My dad was kind of a big Marvel fan... Amora was the only one of the suggested names from him my mom would accept… she loves romance novels and thought it sounded romantic”. I explain as I get the pack.  “Your dad named you after a Marvel villain who … Well uses her magic to seduce men”. He chuckles. “Awesome”.  This time I do roll my eyes slightly, damn he is a nerd, just like my dad. “No, not awesome, men tend to assume I am like her”.   “And you are not”. He nods slowly, looking at me. “I get that… I kinda know how it feels when people assume you are a certain way”.  “Thanks”. I can’t help smiling at him, there is just something about him, something that intrigues me. “So here is your... sorry I hope it’s okay to ask... is there anything else you need”.  He looks slightly confused. “For the fire ants ? Is there ? You are kinda the expert here”.  I am not even sure why I did it, it was just this feeling I got. “I … sorry this might seem weird, and too personal. you just seem… to be in a bad place”.  “Well, my legs itch like crazy… that’s not really fun”. He sounds like he is slightly annoyed or maybe scared.  “Sorry… I … too personal, I get it... sorry”. I start looking at the boxes. Why do I always say dumb stuff like this ? “It would be 12 dollars”.  He sighs and now his voice is soft. “No sorry…you are completely right, I am not in the best place right now. I am just not used to people seeing that”.  “Here... you could give this a read. Maybe it’s something for you”. I hand him a pamphlet for this place that helps people who are stressed out or depressed. It's a bit expensive but I have a feeling money is not a problem for him.  He takes it and swipes his card to pay for the things. “Thank you Amora… I will look at it, I promise”.  “Good… take care”. I hand him the bag with his things. He nods and turns to walk out and without thinking I call out. “And Zac...”. He turns to look at me. “You are loved and you are worthy of that love... remember that when things seem the darkest”.  “Thanks”. His last smile actually reaches his eyes and lights up my world for a moment, then he is gone.  I kinda just stand there looking after him, not even really knowing why… there was just something about him… the easy way to explain would be saying it was like I knew him somehow… like I met him before… but it doesn’t really cover it… it was…more than that, if it makes any sense at all.  And I really hope he is going to look into that place... I am not sure why but I just got this immense sadness from him, but also a feeling of warmth… something truly good.  *Zac*  When I get back to the trailer I make the oatmeal bath in a beer cooler. I know it seems weird to say the least, but having just moved here I don't have that many things. I think of that girl in the apothecary…Amora… the name somehow fitted her.  I wonder if I am starting to show my depression and pain to the world... Usually I am really good at hiding it, but she seemed to look right through me somehow.  Picking up the pamphlet she had given me, I flip through it. Honestly I have never been much for therapy. Not since my ex-wife had me do some couples therapy… with her father… not a good idea. I’ve gone to some different counselling before, but it never really seemed to work on me.  But this actually sounds good, something about it speaks to me… and I mean what do I have to lose ? Lately I have even wondered what reason I have to live. I struggle in my personal life and in my acting career, always feeling a step behind.  Maybe I should give this a go… actually go all in on getting better... I put the pamphlet down, smiling to myself. “Thanks Amora”.